Invitation to Her's

My dear Beirut I know I cannot always be there but I visit every now and then. I can’t say it’s always a treat; I love you but you act as a constant reminder of what I dislike about the world and about me. You remind me of why I had to leave and build a life elsewhere. It was hard, it was not a choice, it often cost me my physical and mental health. Years of being away from loved ones made me a stranger in my own home; and no matter what I will always be sort a stranger here in France despite having my life and habits set. I now live in this limbo where I truly feel home nowhere and I hate you for this. But my visit in December 2023 was different. It was fast and intense; but it’s the only time I felt like I was visiting my home rather than a place that used to be home. I saw so many friends, ate my favorite food, spent much time with my family, there was no war. We spent hours talking and having fun through the nights, and we spent our days exploring our favorite places. It was simple but I needed it so badly, and I felt the warmth I needed. I have never been able to replicate it during any other visit, but I’m happy to say I was listening to Harvey the whole way through. Whenever I need a bit of warmth I come back to this song and it hits all the right spots. It gives me just enough to keep going.